Pronouns Matter!

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Pronouns Matter!

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T, FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO ME” is the most familiar phrase of the “Queen of Soul” Aretha Franklin’s signature song. However, when it comes to some people’s race, ethnicity, nationality, skin color, age, or gender identity, we as a society have experienced and/or perpetuated a denial of respect.

Without mutual respect for one another, it is impossible to form healthy, holy relationships. We are called to love our neighbors, and to do so, we must acknowledge the fullness of their Imago Dei (theological term for “image of God” as in Genesis 1:27: “God created humanity in God’s own image…”) One important way to demonstrate respect for another is to use the descriptors and pronouns that person identifies with. Asking for and using people’s pronouns is an acknowledgement of their identity.

We frequently use pronouns without thinking, especially given most of society still operates from a gender binary frame of reference. Some children of God, however, say that traditional gender pronouns (she/her, he/him) don’t fit their gender identities. For some, gender-neutral pronouns such as “they” and “their” better honor their identity.

The church of Jesus Christ and we who are Christ’s disciples can model respect and love for our non-binary and queer family members by asking for and addressing them with pronouns they use. (Note that one cannot always assume a person’s pronoun simply by looking at them!) Please, take the time to use a person’s correct gender pronouns. It is an essential way to show respect for their identity as a child of God.

Remember that pronouns matter! 

Ways to Use Correct Pronouns

When meeting new people in person, by phone or online, always start by introducing yourself and stating your pronouns. Let’s model it for others.

When gathering in virtual platforms such as Zoom, add your pronouns after your name. This will equip others to specify their pronouns as well.

Here are a few respectful ways to inquire about someone’s pronouns:

  • What pronouns do you use for yourself?

  • How would you like others to refer to you?

  • How would you like to be addressed?

  • What are your gender pronouns?

  • Which pronouns do you use?

Gender-Specific and Gender-Neutral Pronouns

Masculine Pronouns:

  • He, him, his

  • He went to the store.

  • I spoke to him.

  • The apple was his.

Gender Neutral Pronouns:

  • They, them, their

  • They went to the store.

  • I spoke to them.

  • It was their apple.

Gender Neutral Pronouns:

  • Ze, hir, hirs

  • Ze went to the store.

  • I spoke to hir.

  • The apple was hirs.


Want to practice using pronouns?

Pronouns.minus18.org.au — Visit this site to play the pronoun practice game.

Additional resource for a deeper dive:

Feminine Pronouns:

  • She, her, hers

  • She went to the store.

  • I spoke to her.

  • The apple was hers.

Gender Neutral Pronouns:

  • Ze, zir/zem, zirs/zes

  • Ze went to the store.

  • I spoke to zir/zem.

  • It was zirz/zes apple.

*Please note that these are not the only pronouns. There are an infinite number of pronouns as new ones emerge in our language. 

 

What do I do if I make a mistake?

A quick apology and correction at the time of the mistake is appreciated by most people.

“Sorry, I meant (insert pronoun).”

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